Tannin loves fat. That's the whole thing, really. The grippy, mouth-drying quality in a young Cabernet or Malbec gets softened by the richness of a good piece of beef, and in exchange the wine cuts cleanly through it. Each one makes the other taste better.
So the rule is straightforward: the fattier and more heavily charred the cut, the bigger the wine can be. A lean fillet doesn't need a monster. A rib-eye off the grill absolutely does.